Where did the funny go?

I have been reading a few of my past posts.....and I was funny! So what I can't figure out is where did my funny go? Oh.... I have looked for it every where. Under the bed, in the pantry and even in the little trap that catches all of the stuff in the dryer.... But after no luck...I have come to the conclusion that the last child I created, has sucked out my brains and left scrambled eggs to trick me.

I am not funny any more...
my wise cracks...
my come backs....
are all lacking...
I feel a void. ....

I would like to blog, and I have lots to blog about... but....someone has stolen my funniness. So if you find it, even if it covered in sticky goo...please return it to me. My life is seriously lacking some funny.....

BTW I re-posted my "boob" blog post... after a request.. search its under...Headlights....

Why I keep MY tooth brush in the kitchen....

As most of you know we have a large dog, and with a large dog bring large piles of "digested food" IE.. poop. On occasion these piles are stepped in by my kids and then tracked into the house on shoes.

So a few days ago Hannah, my 6 year old, walked into the house with a pile stuck to the bottom of her sandal. Mike told her to take off her sandals and leave them outside the door.

(see this is "MAN" thinking- leave sandals outside door and either of two things will happen; child will want to wear so called sandals and the wife will be force to clean them or # 2, poop will dry, slowly crumble off or will be easily beaten off with "MAN" power. AHH...Man at his best)

About 20 Min's later Hannah comes out of the bathroom walking through the living room with the so called sandals on....poop Free. Mike and I look at each other....

Mike asks Hannah if she cleaned her sandals off. With a look of shock ....shock that we noticed
Hannah smiles and says yes that she washed them in the bathroom.....as she quickly heads for the front door

I, then ask her what she cleaned it with. Imagining the horror scene in the bathroom.....

Her reply...ummm water? Posing a question with a question requires me to ask question...

Me.....what else? being a mom, I have re-cleaned plenty of things that they have "cleaned" already

Her reply....a wash rag....and.....the "and" being in Hushed tones

Me...Knowing with Hannah there is always way more to the story.....and what else?

Hannah.....a toothbrush....

Mike....in his excited voice... Hannah! Now you can't use your tooth brush, you do realize that was poop right?

Hannah....Yeah...

Mike.....well, now we will a have to throw your tooth brush away? right? confirming the truth and stupidity in a 6 year old child

Hannah.....No... you won't have to throw My tooth brush away....
Now.... I caught the strong MY in this sentence and saw what was coming next...

Mike...Yes we will...still not quite getting it....

Hannah...Looking very upset that Mike was even considering throwing away her free tooth brush NO! Not mine....ummm... cause I used Brodie's to clean them.....

Mike and I looked at each other.....Trying to hold the laughter back, but with no use.... laughter beginning to roar....
BUT with comical timing, Brodie;hearing clips the of story and putting 2 and 2 together, turns around and says.....

WHAT DID SHE SAY????

Some of you have asked why I keep my tooth brush in the kitchen??? Because nothing is safe......Oh the joys of raising children....

Ok sorry it took so long....

Its busy....It took me 3 days to write that first part....

OK where did I leave off?

Oh yes, So I stuck it out. I mean, I know what the "right" thing to do is. So we got over to my neighbors door and we stood there for a sec. when Hannah decided that she did not want to do this.....and I notice that pretty much the whole family is looking at Hannah and I from there front window. Which only made the whole thing worse.
Hannah sobbing said "no I won't"
So dumb me , knocks.......
Hannah throws the note and bolts.

I mean this child can run.....she is fast and by the time the door is open Hannah is gone. I am left to apologize for My sweet darling child...Let my unclean strangle that child thoughts be known as a stood there and tried to decide how I was to approach this subject. After the first "I am so sorry" I stood there and I felt nothing but embarrassment. Embarrassed for myself, my child and my family. Embarrassed that she did know better or maybe that I hadn't taught her better. Embarrassed that it was so hard for her to apologize, to simply admit that she was wrong and that she had done something that she knew was wrong.

Mixed in with all of my angry parenting thoughts I felt sorry for her. Sorry that I, her Mom had not been Humble enough to set a good example for her to learn by.....

After my humiliating experience I wanted to sit down in the snow and wait for this to just blow over. But as Hannah found it doesn't just go away and as a parent it is my job to teach follow through....But I do admit that I did drag me feet a while.

I went into the house and found Hannah in her room. Her new room.....one that she loves dearly and has kept clean and tidy everyday for fear of losing it. I knew that when I talked with her that her heart would be VERY hardened, and that it will now take extreme measures to get her to choice the right. When I walked in before I could say a thing she blurted out.....

"You can punish me to my room, you can take my blanket, I'll go to bed without dinner or you can spank me but I am not gonna say sorry..."

Now I wish I could tell you that I had some great parent-child talk with her and she changed her mind and ran over, said sorry and gave her a big hug and everything was great......PROBABLY NOT.....Not in my fairytale life......

I know from a few years of parenting that I can't punish my kids all the same. Some I can just guilt into, some need to be spanked in it, others it only takes 10 Min's down in there room... But some I must take extreme measures with(far beyond spanking).

"fine" I said, "I'll go get a box"

I stood up and started to walk out the door, Hannah had a confused, but happy "I just won" look on her face.
I came back with a box and started to load up her stuff in it. When she caught on, panic once again filled her face.

"are you moving me?"

I then explained to her that we gave her this room because we thought she was growing up and sometimes big kids/grown ups have to make tough choices. And that we had hoped that she would make the right tough choices. But her choosing not to apologize, even though it was hard, showed me that she was still a little girl, and little girls cannot have there own big girl rooms.

After a little bit of thinking she said, "OK Mom.... but I want to walk over by myself" Sniffling, she put her shoes on and walked over and did it.

Now I know most parenting experts (whoever these people are) might say that my tactics were wrong and that I should let her make her own choice to apologize. But I say blah... they don't know Hannah, IT WOULDN'T OF HAPPENED and she would have won. I have to find what works for each child.....and this did.

When she got home I could tell that she felt so much better. That she felt better inside for doing it. She came straight up to me and gave me a big hug and said,
"thanks Mom, I luv ya"
"I luv ya too Hanny"

My kids teach me things, Hannah my least likely of kids, taught me a lesson of humility and forgivness.....

But with every lesson comes a test and my test came a little sooner than I expected.....

TO BE CONTINUED......

My someone else with out a filthy filter....

My kids teach me daily how to be a better parent and this weekend I saw my reflection in a child, and my reflection was not so pretty. Kids become a portrait of us, some of my kids have Mike's Blue eyes, one of them has my brown and one of them ended up with green. Two of my kids have my crooked toes and the others has nice straight toes. Sometimes their portrait reflects our best qualities and sometimes it shows our worst because we teach our kids the good along with the bad, they learn it by watching you or me in this case....

This weekend was a lazy weekend, not to much going on..... Mike was gone and the kids and I decided to get our Saturday chores done and just hang out at home. The girls went outside and ended up at a neighbors house. Brodie and Esther doing play dough up at the table. I sat down on the couch and about 15 Min's later I saw the girls headed home. I watched from the window and noticed Grace giving Hannah a "mothering lecture" and Hannah ignoring. I then watched Hannah sit down in the snow and yell something. While Grace headed towards the door now at a rushed pace. At this point I knew there was a problem. My head raced with the thoughts of what could have happened now....

When Grace walked in the door, very upset. She informed me that she did nothing and what Hannah did was real-bad. After Grace made it perfectly clear that she was surely a victim in Hannah's offence, Grace then informed me that Hannah had called my very nice neighbor (one that I am sure already thinks I am a horrible mother) FAT.......

I wish I could say that this surprises me. That a child of mine would never say such a thing.....But the truth is Hannah like her mother and surly like her father has lost her filthily filter or maybe was not born with one. She says what she sees and she says what she feels. No...... I am not saying that I walk around calling people fat, But I am a adult and have learned that words hurt. Hannah is obviously still learning that. (You should hear some of the things that she says at Walmart.....) Each time I have tried to teach her that, if you can't say something nice you shouldn't say anything at all. But Hannah comes from a long line of big mouths...so it may take her a while.

When Hannah finally thought the threat had finally passed she came inside. I was waiting on the couch and asked her what happened, she told me pretty much what happened. I then informed her that she was going to apologize.
(This is where the story hits me hard.....)
She instantly started to cry.....and said "NO I WON'T"

I said "Hannah yes you will and you will stay down in your room and have no dinner until you do ..."

"fine" she headed to her room

At this point I knew that I was losing the battle. This child would not care a bit that she was down in her room, nor would she care about dinner. I knew that I had to hit her where it would hurt....or where she would care. So I stopped her and said, "I changed my mind, go get paper and a pencil, you will apologize, not later, but now..." (as a mother a get the right to change my mind)

I then made her sit down and write a apology letter. She cried and gave a fight, but I won that battle.

I then told her to get her shoes on..... this is when Hesteria'broke out.....

"you will come with me? right?" Sobbing

"yes, But you will do the apology"

"fine"

I then realize that it is 3pm and I am still in my pj pants and a sweat shirt, hair not done. I change my pants, throw a pony in my hair and start to realize that I have a knot in my stomach. That I feel like I might throw up.....I walk outside and I start to feel sorry for Hannah.... start thinking about myself and about how forgiveness is my thing. My thing that I have the hardest time with. I start to think about how I hate to apologize and find it hard to forgive people once they have done me wrong. I think about turning around, I think about telling her to just put it in the mail box. I mean.... this lady already doesn't care for me(at least, I think) what is she gonna think of me now that my daughter insulted her and forcing her to appologize. I mean.....really is it gonna make a difference? she probably won't let Hannah play with her daughter ever again....So why would this apology make a difference.

to be continued....

Number 5

I now know why they say your last is spoiled.....Because they grow up so fast!!! I can't believe in 2 months my #5 will turn 1. Time flies!!!

Born March 8th 8#11oz (small) When he was born I thought he might have to go back.....But now he is a pretty good baby, he just knows what he wants and isn't shy to tell you! Father like son.....

He is already pulling himself up to stand. Pretty soon he is gonna start walking and its gonna break my little ole heart!!!! He stands up at the top of the stairs and yells at the kids downstairs....its so cute!!!

He still looks so small. He wants to be a big boy, yet I am dying to just have him stay little for a while longer! Brodie is already trying to teach him to wrestle. Maybe I am just so sad cause I know that soon he will be the one I am blogging about to say, "what happened to my sweet baby..." He will grow horns like the "OTHERS" did.....

when the Spaghetti-o's hit the fan.....

Last Thursday I had 4 CANS of spaghetti-o's that were dropped from the microwave to the stove, down the stove, to the floor and splattered from the kitchen to the couch. (yes I said couch) AND When those spaghetti-o's hit the fan" all of my helpers/children fled the scene. Some running right into each other, not sure which way would be the safest way too go.....And some managing to shove their younger siblings in for a sacrifice. And yet they all managed to do it silently for fear of being picked off by voice recognition alone.

With a ere calm and a half smile, I turn away from the mess, look out at the cows in my kitchen window and pop my "in case of nervous break downs" can of cherry coke that I had stashed away for just such a occasion.

It's Funny cause it was all part of my big home schooling plan. Teach the kids to be self sufficient..... Teach them home basics as well as the other stuff....let them be more involved....show them how......

Then the realization hits me....this was my choice.....I made this mess.....(oh You can bet their gonna clean it) But I have made my choice to extend my parenting to another level. A level that some parents would never dream of...(I surely didn't)

Then my half smile turns into a full smile when another realization hits me....No matter how many cans of "Spaghetti-o's" hit the fan, I am happy with my choice.....I am really enjoying the experience of it all and I really loving being with my kids. They are a huge joy in my life and teach me so many valuable things that the least I can do is try.......

The progress I have seen has been fantastic. I can honestly say that in the last month of home schooling that I have seen at least a 80% difference in all three of my kids (I am also doing Brodie). In development and behavior..... all of the chaos and noise is worth seeing your kids succeed!

The last 2 months of updates....

OK so these are all out of order and I can't get them into the right order so you'll just have to deal.

Gracie turned 8 this year!! I can't believe that I have a eight year old.

Grace was Baptised on January 2ND and it was a fun day for her. Her family and friends were there and she felt dearly loved. She was a bundle of nerves. She was Baptised and confirmed by her Dad who was very nervous as well. And at the baptism we blessed the other 3 kids that had not yet been done.

Grandma Wolfley came a stayed with us for a while, we had a good time and ever since she left my animals have all rebelled against me and will only eat warm food. To which I say they can starve. They have not yet starved.

We had a unexpected visit from Santa and his little lady. Can I just say that this was the best Santa I have ever seen. My kids are still talking about it. So thanks for thinking of us Mrs. Claus!

Mike celebrated his 33rd birthday....The kids made this cute banner for him and we baked him a German chocolate cake and his favorite pot roast.

Here is our traditional Christmas picture........

Here is the traditional Pj and ornament picture......

Grandma got to revisit the years of getting up woke up way too early. And the rise and the fall of kids on candy........

This year we had a great December full of lots of fun stuff. I thank heavenly father everday for all of my many blessing's. All 6 of them.