The lie I told....

I told a lie today....It was a need thing...I felt...But all day I have felt bad...No really....I feel like it is going to come back to bite me in the butt!

more to come...

OK So I feel nervous about posting this....Where I live is small and people know people. And you never know who really reads your blog and well who knows who...and who is related to who and read the blog story to who....SO ITS Scary...so I have been doubting the fact that I should post this. But I feel bad...and this is part of my repentance process.....So here I confess.

So the last 2 days I have appointments in town....approximately 12 miles away. MY days are busy when I squish everything but..I purposely do this so I don't have to find someone to watch Brodie and Hannah.....They are at preschool and need to be picked up @ 11 am SHARP!!! And I just take Essie with me. On Monday everything was running late and I had to call the preschool and say that I was running late and that I would be there ASAP.

(so the deal with preschool pick up is that they run an AM and a PM class. with only a half in hour in between. They need to set up eat and regroup before the next class. So I really try to respect that fact....)

So the whole way to the preschool I was "Utah/Hell normal driving" IE speeding.... and the whole way I thought about getting pulled over and ruining our Christmas...and what I would say to the officer if it happened....
I made it to the preschool about 10 Min's late.

On Tuesday I had another Dr.s appointment which ran VERY late. Plus they wanted me to wait and do some blood work.....(Gestational diabetes problems, so I had too stay) by the time I left the office it was 11:03....CRAP....so I went to go call and my cell was dead. Panicked I started to speed home....again....

(Wait the part I forgot was.....on the way there I had seen a State Police officer...sitting and waiting to catch speeders....)

So I was fully aware once I hit the highway that (this nice, kind, caring) State police man might be waiting on me....so I was very diligent in looking for him or any sight of him......I made it all of the way to my exit and thought thank goodness I made it! When I saw the lights in my rear mirror.....and he was coming fast....I pulled over cause I already knew that he was after me.... He came up to the window and said....

" Hello, I am officer Friendly (names have been withheld for because....) and I clocked you doing 79 in a 65. " HE DID NOT Look impressed.

Now knowing that he was a State police officer....I started to ball! They always ticket you....
Balling I said,
" I know I was totally speeding, it was totally my fault, But I was rushing to my sons preschool because his teacher called and said that he fell and hurt his arm......I am really sorry I was just really worried about him...." and I handed him my DL.

NOTE: OK this was totally wrong.....But it just flowed out of my mouth... I thought about the fact that "Mommy just ruined Christmas" and Mike was gonna be pissed! and we are already poor!!!! and it was sorta true except for the whole arm part....and I have only had 2 tickets ever and I don't normally speed!!!
I SHOULD NOT TRY TO JUSTIFY!!!!....IT WAS VERY, VERY WRONG AND I HAVE FELT SO GUILTY....REALLY......

This (sweet kind gentle caring) officer got a look of compassion on his face...and said "when I pull people over I always give tickets....where is your sons preschool?"

I said "right here in Rigby" Balling...hardly understandable...

Then he said "whats the name of the school?"

I said the name..... Hoping now that he does not remember.....

and he said...."OK Miss I am going to let you off with a warning.....this time...But just know that you would not be able to help your son, if you die out here speeding"

Of course I started to ball harder.....it was such a nice thing to do and I could really see him feeling bad for me....and at this point I wanted to say.....

"really officer....My son didn't hurt his arm....I am just really late and this is my second day....being late....I am pregnant and just really emotional and some say a little crazy.....I agree... I shouldn't have lied.....But this ticket is probably gonna be the same cost as our Christmas...Please don't make Mommy ruin Christmas....."

BUT I was mums...I said nothing besides... a non understandable thank you....and I drove away.....I had a feeling of relief and extreme guilt until the paranoia set in......

Maybe he will call the school???? Maybe I will see him at the store and Big mouth Hannah will say " he never hurt his arm".......Maybe he will come to police officer day at school????

This is what pregnancy/paranoia do to you...Its not pretty!!

For the last 2 days I have felt bad and paranoid.....Mike says I must go to the bishop and confess......I have decided that I would like to be Catholic.....I am NOT going to speed to get to Preschool anymore!

And Dear Officer Friendly,
I am really sorry about speeding...But more for the fact of lying..... I should not have done what I did....you did such a nice thing and I took advantage of my pouty brown eyes and big fat round belly......Please don't arrest me.....I will do community service....You know like... buy a family/child a gift off the Walmart tree....whatever you want..........You have taught me a lesson I will not speed on the highway anymore! Thank you for your kindness....AND BTW Please don't tell Karma where I am......
Sincerely,
Crazy Pregnant speeding Lier....